Imam Ahmad recorded that Anas said that the Jews used to avoid their menstruating women, they would not eat, or even mingle with them in the house. The Companions of the Prophet asked about this matter and Allah revealed:
﴿وَيَسْـَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُواْ النِّسَآءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّى يَطْهُرْنَ﴾
(They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: "That is an Adha, therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not in unto them till they are purified.)
Allah's Messenger said:
«اصْنَعُوا كُلَّ شَيْءٍ إِلَّا النِّكَاح»
(`Do everything you wish, except having sexual intercourse.)
When the Jews were told about the Prophet's statement, they said, "What is the matter with this man He would not hear of any of our practices, but would defy it.'' Then, Usayd bin Hudayr and `Abbad bin Bishr came and said, "O Messenger of Allah! The Jews said this and that, should we have sex with our women (meaning, during the menstruation period)'' The face of Allah's Messenger changed color, until the Companions thought that he was angry with them. They left. Soon after, some milk was brought to Allah's Messenger as a gift, and he sent some of it for them to drink. They knew then that Allah's Messenger was not angry with them. Muslim also reported this Hadith. Allah said:
﴿فَاعْتَزِلُواْ النِّسَآءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ﴾
(. ..therefore, keep away from women during menses.) meaning, avoid the sexual organ. The Prophet said:
«اصْنَعُوا كُلَّ شَيْءٍ إِلَّا النِّكَاح»
(Do anything you wish except having sexual intercourse.)
This is why most of the scholars said that it is allowed to fondle the wife, except for having sexual intercourse (when she is having her menses). Abu Dawud reported that `Ikrimah related to one of the Prophet's wives that she said that whenever the Prophet wanted to fondle (one of his wives) during her menses, he would cover her sexual organ with something.
Abu Ja`far bin Jarir related that Masruq went to `A'ishah and greeted her, and `A'ishah greeted him in return. Masruq said, "I wish to ask you about a matter, but I am shy.'' She replied, "I am your mother and you are my son.'' He said, "What can the man enjoy of his wife when she is having her menses'' She said, "Everything except her sexual organ.'' This is also the opinion of Ibn `Abbas, Mujahid, Al-Hasan and `Ikrimah.
One is allowed to sleep next to his wife and to eat with her (when she is having her menses). `A'ishah said, "Allah's Messenger used to ask me to wash his hair while I was having the menses. He would lay on my lap and read the Qur'an while I was having the period.'' It is also reported in the Sahih that `A'ishah said, "While having the menses, I used to eat from a piece of meat and give it to the Prophet who would eat from the same place I ate from. I used to have sips of a drink and would then give the cup to the Prophet who would place his mouth where I placed my mouth.''
It is also reported in the Two Sahihs that Maymunah bint Al-Harith Al-Hilaliyah said, "Whenever the Prophet wanted to fondle any of his wives during the periods (menses), he used to ask her to wear an Izar (a sheet covering the lower-half of the body).'' These are the wordings collected by Al-Bukhari. Similar was reported from `A'ishah. In addition, Imam Ahmad, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah reported that `Abdullah bin Sa`d Al-Ansari asked Allah's Messenger , "What am I allowed of my wife while she is having her menses'' He said, "What is above the Izar (a sheet covering the lower-half of the body).'' Hence, Allah's statement: h
﴿وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّى يَطْهُرْنَ﴾
(...and go not in unto them till they are purified.) explains His statement:
﴿فَاعْتَزِلُواْ النِّسَآءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ﴾
(...therefore, keep away from women during menses.)
Allah prohibited having sexual intercourse with the wife during menstruation, indicating that sexual intercourse is allowed otherwise.
Allah's statement:
﴿فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ﴾
(And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you.) indicates that men should have sexual intercourse with their wives after they take a bath. The scholars agree that the woman is obliged to take a bath, or to perform Tayammum with sand, if she is unable to use water, before she is allowed to have sexual intercourse with her husband, after the monthly period ends. Ibn `Abbas said:
﴿حَتَّى يَطْهُرْنَ﴾
"(till they are purified) means from blood, and,
﴿فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ﴾
(And when they have purified themselves) means with water.'' This is also the Tafsir of Mujahid, `Ikrimah, Al-Hasan, Muqatil bin Hayyan and Al-Layth bin Sa`d and others.